Cracking The Hard Nuts With Funny T-Shirts
When I sit around all summer on the Internet, waiting for college to start again, I get really, really, really bored. When I get bored, my brain gets overactive and I have to do something that eats up some time. Usually, video games do the trick. Sometimes I need something more. Sometimes I need to do an experiment. I like experiments that let me see how people think and react to certain situations, so this time I decided that I would see if I could bring humor to the humorless with funny t-shirts.
My grandma is a great person. She had five kids with a husband who left during the Great Depression to "go find some money for us". Needless to say, my grandpa never came back. This woman made herself hard as nails to make ends meet for her family. I can respect that, especially since I wouldn't be here if she hadn't succeeded. She made an unfair trade, though, because this woman doesn't know what it means to be happy. If my funny t-shirts could make my grandma laugh, then they can make anyone laugh.
I thought pure silliness might be the trick, so I picked a shirt that had a donkey on it saying "Who Farted?" This wasn't my proudest moment, but I felt it might do the trick. When I knocked on her door, she opened it and stared up at me from the seat of her hover-round scooter. I asked her to look at my shirt and she just stared at it for a long time with this twisted look on her face. She grumbled something at me and shut the door. I thought I had failed completely, until I later realized that this was what my grandmother looked like when she was laughing at funny t-shirts. The Great Depression left some deep scars, man.
The next pin that must fall was this gun-toting maniac that I know of. I had a hard choice between him and this Baptist preacher I had heard of that was saying some pretty shady things that verged on support of those Westboro maniacs. It was a tough choice. I had the possibility of my funny t-shirts either getting me shot or damned for all eternity. I decided on just getting shot...there's a chance I could survive that.
I would say that this guy I planned on meeting hates me because I dated his daughter. I would say that, except that other guys have dated his daughter and not had to endure hateful, half-threats and fear tactics taught by the world's most aggressive military. I was already standing at the foot of his steps when I started thinking about how stupid this whole thing was and that funny t-shirts couldn't protect me from the pain this man was about to inflict on me.
I now know the power of funny t-shirts, and will never doubt them again. I can't even remember what kind of shirt I was wearing, because the maniac scared me so bad when he opened the door that I took my shirt off, threw it in his face, and ran the hell away. When I was about a block away, I could hear him laughing and realized that it wasn't the sound of some monster dog coming after me. The gun-nut crazy guy was laughing...most likely because I stripped my shirt off and ran away before he said a word. That doesn't matter though. The experiment was a success.
If you need to know more about funny t-shirts check out funny t-shirt for a great example.
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